May 2012
Love is letting somebody borrow your only pair of earbuds when they break everything you give them.
Okay, well, maybe not everything, but some things. The earbuds I gave him a while ago to borrow just magically broke out of nowhere, which is why he needs mine now, and I’m still not over him breaking my beautiful iPod Classic that I gave to him for Christmas one year.
He left it sitting in...
“You can’t drive a knife into a man’s back nine inches, pull it out six inches,...”
– Malcolm X (via thedismembermentflan)
So, today I went to Ross and overheard possible child abuse while trying on clothes in the dressing room.
There was a woman there with a baby in a stroller. The baby was crying really hard, and the woman didn’t do anything about it except tell the baby to be quiet repeatedly in increasingly annoyed tones.
It got to the point where this baby was screaming its head off like it was being...
Paid maternity leave →
other-stuff:
Afghanistan 90 days Algeria 14 weeks Angola 90 days Argentina 90 days Australia 0 weeks Austria 16 weeks Bahamas, The 8 weeks Bahrain 45 days Bangladesh 12 weeks Barbados 12 weeks Belarus 126 days Belgium 15 weeks Belize 12 weeks Benin 14 weeks Bolivia 60 days Botswana 12 weeks Brazil 120 days Bulgaria 120-180 days Burkina Faso 14 weeks Burma 12 weeks Burundi 12 weeks Cambodia 90...
“On the bully attack of the boy with the bleached-blond hair, Romney issued a...”
– Timothy Egan, writing in today’s New York Times, “Romney’s Weasel Problem,” (via inothernews)
Sorry for the minor ZIM spam, I JUST REALLY NEED THOSE AUTOGRAPHED THINGS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND
Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
“If only i had checked myself”
– guy who wrecked himself (via aye-davanita)
Today:
Beach
Time spent with boyfriend’s family
Amazing sex
Taco Bell
Yes.
Reblog if you want your followers to ask you...
So, this girl I went to school with just randomly up and MOVED TO HAWAII because I guess her boyfriend who is in the military lives there, and also he just proposed to her with this huge ass sparkly as shit ring
a. AM I THE ONLY GIRL LEFT FROM MY GRADUATING CLASS THAT ISN’T MARRIED/ENGAGED, I’M PRETTY SURE IF NOT THERE’S LIKE THREE OF US LEFT
b. WHY CAN’T I MOVE TO...
“The reality is that fat people are often supported in hating their bodies, in...”
– Lesley Kinzel (via curvesahead)
I will always reblog this because it is so so important.
(via infinitetransit)
I just want to nail this to every stable surface I can find. I cannot count the amount of times that I’ve seen fat folks being encouraged, cajoled, and even forced into behaviors that...
I hate everything, I really just hope in my next life I am reincarnated into a Great White shark.
“If gay marriage affects your straight marriage obviously your marriage is pretty...”
– Mila Kunis (via takeitannabanana)
alcohallic:
is ugh an emotion cause i feel it all the time
Let's get weird.
1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?
2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?
3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?
4: Do you find it easy to trust others?
5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?
6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?
7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
8: Are you close with your dad?
9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?
10: What are you listening to?
11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?
12. Do you like hickeys?
13: What time do you go to bed?
14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?
16: Do you always answer your texts?
17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?
18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
21: Is anyone else in the room with you?
22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?
23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?
25: In the past week, have you cried?
26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?
27: Do people ever call you by your last name?
28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?
29: Do you have a best friend?
30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?
31: Who was your last call from?
32: Are you mad at anyone?
33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?
35: How many more days until your birthday?
36: Do you have any summer plans yet?
37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?
38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?
39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?
40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
41: Do you think age matters in relationships?
42: Are you available?
43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?
44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?
45: Do you believe exes can be friends?
46: Do you regret anything?
47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
48: Did you ever lose a best friend?
49: Was your last kiss a mistake?
50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?
51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?
52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?
53: What was the last thing you ate?
54: Did you get any compliments today?
55: Where are you going on your next vacation?
56: Do you own anything from other countries?
57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?
58: Where have you lived most of your life?
59: When was the last time you took a long drive?
60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?
62: Who do you text the most?
63: What was the last movie you saw?
64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?
65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2010?
66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?
67: Do you curse around your parents?
68: Are you happy with where you live?
69: Do you collect anything?
70: What’s your favourite colour?
71: Does the last song you listened to remind you of anyone?
72: Has anyone ever cheated on you?
73: What are your plans for tomorrow?
74: Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one?
75: Does your last ex have a job?
76: What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship?
77: Where is your cellphone?
78: What colour is your cellphone?
79: What did you dream of last night?
80: Are you atheist?
81: Will you change your name when you get married?
82: Are you ready for autumn weather?
83: Have you had any big storms recently?
84: What kind of bottoms are you wearing?
I know you’re probably supposed to wait more than three days before making a conclusion about something like this. But I’m pretty sure the meds my doctor gave me aren’t working. I feel so terrible today that I’m considering making up an excuse about food poisoning and calling work to tell them I can’t go. I wonder what the chances are that they will hate me forever if...
Me: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Mum: He's black
Me:
Mum:
Me:
Mum:
Me: You look for fresh prints, but oh my God